sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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