He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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