she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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