Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize