I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize