please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
