...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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