how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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