What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
