I hate your face
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
nutella sex= disaster
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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