Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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