I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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