I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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