Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
