So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
