I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
