just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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