i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
should my penis look like a turkey
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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