You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize