have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize