mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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