so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
