Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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