Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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