Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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