i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
