since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
