you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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