So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
