Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
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