i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
