Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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