I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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