he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
