There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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