making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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