I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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