so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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