Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
