he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
