I want to have your abortion
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
