She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When did angry sex become our thing?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
