sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
