he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize