soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
