brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
