Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
