chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
