dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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