we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
