I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize