who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
