so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
