I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
