Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.

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  (916): come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too. http://tfl.nu/xgxr
  Replies (8) Good night (4245) Bad night (893)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.

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  (816): I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life. http://tfl.nu/o7kz
  Replies (14) Good night (4704) Bad night (686)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail

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  (864): I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail http://tfl.nu/plfb
  Replies (47) Good night (837) Bad night (13302)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!

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  (678): I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama. (770): WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?! http://tfl.nu/mh7d
  Replies (49) Good night (1449) Bad night (7154)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.

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  (734): airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american. http://tfl.nu/pd31
  Replies (11) Good night (3181) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.

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  (980): You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls. http://tfl.nu/1jxr
  Replies (12) Good night (2104) Bad night (3276)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."

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  (215): He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax." http://tfl.nu/odgz
  Replies (25) Good night (1100) Bad night (6230)
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  (949): View more from California

  Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.

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  (949): Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later. http://tfl.nu/ckzf
  Replies (10) Good night (2450) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a liquor store near my therapist

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i might give it a shot.

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  (617): there's a liquor store near my therapist (617): i might give it a shot. http://tfl.nu/u2kn
  Replies (8) Good night (1821) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself

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  (706): I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself http://tfl.nu/6gni
  Replies (15) Good night (1502) Bad night (571)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.

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  (407): Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people. http://tfl.nu/19v1
  Replies (12) Good night (1872) Bad night (804)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded

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  (608): At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded http://tfl.nu/pkjm
  Replies (2) Good night (1186) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"

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  (780): Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl" http://tfl.nu/k17c
  Replies (2) Good night (1002) Bad night (456)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun

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  (847): Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun http://tfl.nu/7pg6
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev

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  (270): Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev http://tfl.nu/bqo9
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (380)

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