I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can