Texts From Last Night

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  (132): View more from

  if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder

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  (132): if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder http://tfl.nu/48fa
  Replies (43) Good night (1545) Bad night (1050)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Some perfection is debatable.

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  (720): Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday. (303): Some perfection is debatable. http://tfl.nu/oliz
  Replies (32) Good night (4236) Bad night (737)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  idk, I had a turtle in mine.

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  (941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m
  Replies (30) Good night (3839) Bad night (5576)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."

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  (703): She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet." http://tfl.nu/u6hh
  Replies (28) Good night (1492) Bad night (4279)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.

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  (336): I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing. http://tfl.nu/tg4w
  Replies (12) Good night (6260) Bad night (1232)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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  (404): There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase http://tfl.nu/jdu6
  Replies (25) Good night (9462) Bad night (1221)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

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  (419): You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text? http://tfl.nu/28br
  Replies (8) Good night (4310) Bad night (1237)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?

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  (312): Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight? http://tfl.nu/82ga
  Replies (3) Good night (1474) Bad night (1630)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.

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  (806): Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain. http://tfl.nu/iymf
  Replies (16) Good night (3299) Bad night (1023)
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  (818): View more from California

  The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.

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  (818): The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me. http://tfl.nu/w1nr
  Replies (18) Good night (6141) Bad night (694)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

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  (509): He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced http://tfl.nu/0gfy
  Replies (7) Good night (1672) Bad night (679)
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  (925): View more from California

  Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.

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  (925): Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this. http://tfl.nu/xd0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1949) Bad night (529)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Gonna be tough to beat that next year!

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  (508): So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party. (508): Gonna be tough to beat that next year! http://tfl.nu/374f
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (369)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.

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  (541): I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore. http://tfl.nu/w4vs
  Replies (5) Good night (368) Bad night (740)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain

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  (561): But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain http://tfl.nu/nmgo
  Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (336)

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