i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.