Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...

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  (714): It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks... http://tfl.nu/l4e9
  Replies (2) Good night (1167) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv

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  (917): East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv http://tfl.nu/5gj0
  Replies (19) Good night (1281) Bad night (497)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.

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  (443): I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans. http://tfl.nu/20x0
  Replies (6) Good night (2410) Bad night (522)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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  (832): and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid http://tfl.nu/8ij1
  Replies (44) Good night (736) Bad night (3400)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together

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  (812): the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together http://tfl.nu/nmyc
  Replies (21) Good night (4001) Bad night (684)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.

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  (847): I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink. http://tfl.nu/akmh
  Replies (3) Good night (2349) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?

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  (205): They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level? http://tfl.nu/pz2g
  Replies (6) Good night (1782) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.

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  (302): Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one. http://tfl.nu/7sz8
  Replies (9) Good night (2238) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.

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  (252): Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing. http://tfl.nu/p5zs
  Replies (3) Good night (1279) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.

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  (507): He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/651b
  Replies (6) Good night (1151) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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  (940): He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there. http://tfl.nu/awit
  Replies (3) Good night (1010) Bad night (442)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.

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  (307): i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears. http://tfl.nu/ndjg
  Replies (5) Good night (1327) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..

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  (614): This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day.. http://tfl.nu/r5zy
  Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party

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  (775): He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party http://tfl.nu/btv9
  Replies (8) Good night (481) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time

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  (954): I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time http://tfl.nu/1q0v
  Replies (1) Good night (360) Bad night (166)

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